Thinking out loud
The Fifth Season
Vivaldi had The Four Seasons. Teachers go one better. They have a fifth: The Reports Season. Everything you need to know about the dystopian world of education is encapsulated by this particular phenomenon.
The Canteen
There are seven wonders of the modern world. I’m going to add an eighth: the school canteen. It can’t be seen from the upper echelons of the stratosphere, but it still somehow manages to occupy an alternative dimension in time and space. Dinnertime is an unparalleled parallel universe.
The Stock Cupboard
Aristotle once said, ‘Give me a child until he is seven and l will show you the man.’ In a similar vein, I hazard to suggest that ‘give me a stock cupboard and I’ll show you the school’.
The Alchemist
You know it’s the Summer Term because it’s the Summer Term. In other words, it has been deemed to be so, so be it. It doesn’t necessarily bear any resemblance to summertime, but nevertheless: it’s arrived.
Category Three
Apparently, all of us fall into the category of either ‘larks’ or ‘owls’, with our natural disposition suited to early mornings or late evenings. Teachers fall into a third category: both.
Lies, Damned Lies and Teaching
If I told you that teaching was the best job in the world, I’d be lying. The statistics, you see, don’t. Nearly half of state schoolteachers plan to leave in the next five years. Ouch! I won’t go on. Suffice to say, the chalkface challenges are real.